


All That Matters

by HannibabestheCannibabes



Category: Whitechapel (TV)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Apologies, Drinks, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Gay Bar, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-18 09:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12385053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannibabestheCannibabes/pseuds/HannibabestheCannibabes
Summary: ‘I worked as hard as every other officer in the Krays case. I worked late. I arrived early. I did everything that was asked of me. I was even personally targeted because of that case, held against a wall and striped.'Kent finally works up the courage to demand a better apology for his suspension. Set after S2.





	1. Chapter 1

**All That Matters**

**Because I've never been satisfied with the apology Chandler gave Kent.**

_‘For a while there, I didn’t trust anyone. I didn’t trust Miles. I didn’t trust the Commander, and I didn’t trust you. I was wrong. I’m sorry.’_

_A deep breath. ‘I was there the night the Incident Room was burgled.’_

_‘Well, why didn’t you say anything?’_

_‘I couldn’t do anything to stop them. I didn’t want you to know.’_

_‘Well, from now on, leave your ego out of it. All that matters to me is the truth.’_

* * *

 

Two weeks later, both Krays dead, the Incident Room was almost deserted. The single light still humming dimly illuminated the desk of DC Emerson Kent, hunched over a file. Every few minutes he checked his watch, if just to each time surprise himself with the late hour. Not that he was unused to late nights. He just no longer wanted to be there.

DI Chandler glanced up from his own work with the knock on the door. He beckoned in, and Kent approached his desk, placing a folder down.

‘I can’t find a link between the victim and our suspect, other than their prison connection. I’m still waiting for DNA and forensics, plus a phone call from the prison to check visitor records and any behavioural incidents, but these are tenuous at best,’ he explained. ‘The file is just the suspect’s criminal record.’

‘We need something more than that if we want an arrest.’ Chandler picked up the evidence, taking a quick flick through.

‘I know, sir.’

‘Wait for the phone calls. See what they say.’ He handed Kent his work back, and the DC turned to leave. ‘Wait, Kent. Are you alright?’

Kent took his fingers from the handle. ‘Sorry, sir?’

‘It’s late. You seem tired. Go home and the phone calls can wait until the morning.’

It was want Kent had been waiting for all night, since his shift ended hours before, but something in the Inspector’s voice stopped him. ‘I’m fine, sir.’

‘No, go home. I keep forgetting you’re still recovering. You should rest. Come back tomorrow refreshed.’ Chandler looked back down at his work, the signal that the conversation was over. Kent, however, took a breath and sat down.

‘I am tired, sir, but not from that.’

‘Kent?’

‘I want an apology.’

Chandler lifted his head to meet Kent’s eyes. He didn’t look away. ‘What for?’

‘My suspension.’

‘I thought we had covered this before. That case was difficult. All loyalties were tested. Your suspension was unfortunate, and I accept I was wrong. What more do you want?’

‘I want an apology that isn’t made whilst my Inspector is drunk and doesn’t end in the suggestion that my ego led to my suspension.’ Kent’s voice remained steady throughout, though he could feel his heart pounding anxiously. He kept his eyes hard, refusing to break away. ‘I worked as hard as every other officer in the Krays case. I worked late. I arrived early. I did everything that was asked of me. I was even personally targeted because of that case, held against a wall and striped, the scars of which I have to see every single day. But now, I have to also see _suspension_ written on my personal record, regardless as to how wrong you were. I deserve more apology than one made whilst you had been drinking, in which you tried to school me like a parent. Because that, to me, sounded a lot like bullshit.’

He hadn’t expected the anger to seep into his speech, and even he looked shocked by his own final few words. The Inspector, however, merely frowned. ‘You forget yourself, officer.’

‘You forget yourself, sir.’ This response did draw a reaction from Chandler, who began to feel his own temper rising, his pulse growing louder. He resisted the itching in his hands for his balm. ‘You forget that for all our cases, I’ve shared more with this team than you. For everything we’ve seen, I’ve seen more. You started with the Ripper, I’d been here years. And I would never do anything that could jeopardise this team, or hurt them.’

‘Kent…’

‘I’ve also never worked for an Inspector as dedicated or hard working, or one I admire and respect as much as I do you. I could imagine nothing worse than letting you down or putting you in danger. I only ever want to be here, at Whitechapel, with you. With the team.’ He stopped, his nerve having finally been defeated by his churning stomach, and he felt his face flush slightly. The Inspector’s face remained unmoved.

‘Return to your desk, DC Kent.’

* * *

 

Chandler waited until Kent was distracted by work once more to shut the blinds to his office and take out the whisky from his desk. He had one shot, followed by a second. The burning of his throat seemed to soothe his anger, and he placed the glass back on his desk and sat back.

Was Kent right? It was an interesting question. He remembered the apology he thought he’d made to Kent- he’d admitted he was wrong; he had even been gentle over the burgling of the Incident Room. Not that he could remember his exact words. Kent’s accusation over his drinking was not without foundation- the case would have been impossible without self-medication, of any kind.  But Kent should understand this. He experienced first-hand who the Kray twins were, the lengths that needed to be taken for them to be stopped.

_Held against a wall and striped._

He thought about the pain on Kent’s face in the hospital- the physical agony, and the embarrassment he saw in his eyes to be left in such a state before Miles and himself. The quick looks he gave to those who tried to offer sympathy when he was back in the station, moving slowly on crutches, but refusing to take time off. The look on his face when his Inspector had suspended him without evidence.

 _The scars I have to see every day_.

A permanent reminder of his worst case, both professionally and personally. A reminder of two occasions when his Inspector failed him- against the violence of the Kray twins, and against his own doubt. No wonder Kent hadn’t been smiling in recent weeks.

Chandler stopped for a second. _He didn’t think he’d noticed this_.

He reached for a third shot, lifting the bottle to pour, before instead screwing it tight and placing it away.

* * *

 

Emerson glanced up at his boss, stood over him at his desk, and he felt his stomach clench, preparing for the worst. ‘Sir, I…’

‘Turn off your computer, Kent.’

‘Sir…’

‘That’s an order.’ He thought he felt himself stammer, but Kent didn’t seem to notice. ‘Get your coat. The case can wait until tomorrow. Tonight I’m taking you for a drink.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The night outside was cold, and Kent was grateful that the Inspector had already phoned a taxi, rather than suggest walking anywhere. In the close proximity of the vehicle, he was certain he could smell alcohol on the other man’s breath.

‘Not the regular,’ Chandler said, after a moment or so of silence. ‘I don’t want to risk seeing anyone.’ Kent did his best to keep the hurt from his face, but it was still caught. ‘This is an apology, not a social event. Nobody else need be there.’

He felt a sudden warmth in his stomach. ‘I don’t know many places around here. A couple of live music venues.’

‘Too noisy.’

‘I know somewhere quiet.’ He paused, suddenly bashful. ‘It is a gay bar.’

‘That works fine.’

* * *

 

Joseph Chandler had never been into a gay bar. Admittedly, he’d been in very few bars at all. He was comfortable in restaurants, where there was order kept. He was comfortable in pubs, where behaviour on the whole was kept respectful. But bars were another concept- a place for the young and the drunk to congregate, a place of suggestion and encounter. And mess. He wasn’t altogether sure how much more different a gay bar would be.

On entry, however, he felt himself breathe in relief. It wasn’t the bar he imagined, complete with sticky floor and staring youth. It looked more like a pub, albeit a more dimly lit pub, and decorated with a needless array of rainbow flags. And he was pleased to see Kent looked very little more comfortable than he did- he certainly did not look like a regular.

Kent found a corner table whilst the Inspector brought drinks, and nodded gratefully upon his return. They both sat in silence at the table, taking slow sips from the glasses in front of them. In the background, a tired 80s music track played.

‘I’m sorry,’ Chandler eventually said. ‘I’m not very good at small talk.’

‘It doesn’t have to be small talk.’

‘I’m not very good at any type of talk, beyond work.’

‘We can talk about work.’

‘I haven’t brought you here to talk more about work.’ Chandler sighed, glancing around the room, as if for inspiration. ‘How did you find this place then? It doesn’t seem like your sort of place.’ He kicked himself the minute he spoke. He didn’t know what sort of place was Kent’s place, beyond his desk in the station. This bar may be Kent’s place, after all. He must have come before, enough times to know it would be empty enough to bring his boss to safely. He supposed he actually meant _his_ sort of place, as opposed to his officer’s. ‘Sorry, that was presumptive…’

‘No, you’re right.’ Kent gave a reassuring smile, the sight slowing the Inspector’s rapid heartbeat. ‘My sister introduced me to this place once. It was in her one-time bid to make me more sociable, until she realised how empty it was. I’ve only been back here a few times.’

‘I didn’t know you had a sister.’ _Another thing to add to the list_.

‘Erica. We’re twins.’

‘She got the more normal name?’ _What sort of a comment was that?_ Chandler was grateful for the dim light, as he felt himself flush in embarrassment.

Kent laughed however. ‘And she’s never let me forget it.’ A pause. ‘Do you have…?’

‘No.’ He didn’t elaborate, or continue, instead choosing to pick up his drink and finish it, swallowing the amber liquid soundlessly, asides from the thud of the glass being placed back on the table. He gestured to Kent’s own drink. ‘Another?’

‘No, it’s my turn, sir…’

‘This is my apology. And it’s Joe.’

He watched Kent from the corner of his eye as he stood at the bar. The lighting suited the officer, actually, highlighting his cheekbones, his jaw, making his eyes seem brighter somehow. Chandler felt himself smile at the sight. It fell however as he remembered why he’d invited him.

Emerson was on his phone when the Inspector returned. He placed it away without a second look.

‘I realise, Kent,’ he said, placing the drinks on the table as he sat back down. ‘That I called this an apology, and haven’t actually apologised yet.’

‘It’s ok, sir…Joe. I get the gesture.’

‘No, you deserve an apology, you were right.’ He remembered with his first apology, he’d barely even made eye contact with Kent, too distracted with the case and his glass to focus. He made sure this time to meet his eyes directly. ‘I’m sorry for suspending you, Kent. I should never have suspected you, and then I certainly shouldn’t have acted so rashly without any evidence. I was wrong.’

‘Why was it me?’ He hadn’t expected the question, which seemed almost naïve in his mind. Chandler felt himself frown, yet Kent’s eyes remained firmly on his. ‘During the case, you said you suspected everyone. Why was I the only person you punished?’

‘Well, you weren’t…I don’t…I don’t know,’ Chandler admitted, finally looking away as the confession was too embarrassing to make whilst meeting his officer’s eyes. ‘It was a difficult case. I’d never encountered anything before quite like it. I felt like there was no-one around me I could trust. And then with the Incident Room being burgled…you were the only member of the team not threatened that night. It looked suspicious.’

‘I’d already been attacked, and hospitalised.’ Kent could feel his temper rising, as if in frustration at a conversation that seemed to keep circling. Despite his best efforts to hide it, Chandler could read every thought on his face and he sighed.

‘I’m not trying to defend myself, Kent. I was wrong. When I think about it now, I feel nothing but guilt over the way I treated you. I would change it all in a second if I could. I don’t want you thinking that I don’t appreciate everything you do, because I didn’t trust you. If you want the truth, I’ve never been very good with blind faith.’ As he spoke, he watched the other man’s face soften, his eyes warm. He gave Chandler the confidence to continue. ‘If you want the truth entirely, I’ve never quite met an officer like you. Every officer I’ve ever met who has worked as hard as you has wanted something in return- a pay rise, a fast track. You’ve never asked for anything. I suppose I just couldn’t imagine someone doing all that for something other than personal gain. That’s why I suspected you. You proved me wrong, and I’m very glad.’

His heartbeat felt loud in his ears. He wondered if even Kent could hear it. Chandler picked up his drink and swallowed it whole, the table still silent as the other man just sat.

He waited for the Inspector to place the glass back on the table before smiling. ‘You didn’t need to say all that, sir…Thank you.’

‘It’s still only Joe. And you’ll have to talk now, Kent. I’m not quite used to being so honest.’ His heart pounded quicker at the sudden rush of alcohol hitting his bloodstream. _And at the sight of Kent’s smile._ ‘Why does your sister want you to be more sociable?’

It was Kent’s turn to be grateful for the lighting, which hid the extent of his sudden blushing. ‘It’s nothing…it’s a little embarrassing.’

‘Then now I have to know.’ His best attempt at a joke as he watched the other man blush harder.

‘She wants to find me a boyfriend…’ _That sounded young_. ‘Partner…She wanted to try and set me up. It was a few months back. She’s forgotten it all now.’

Chandler’s heartbeat, so rapid, seemed to stop almost suddenly. He felt an unfamiliar gnawing in his stomach. ‘Unsuccessful then?’

‘My sister’s attempts at matchmaking often are. Not to blame her. I’m just…’ His eyes flicked up to meet the Inspector’s briefly. ‘Specific.’

Chandler stood suddenly, his head spinning. ‘I need some fresh air.’

He thought he felt himself stumble outside, and he regretted not having eaten before he drank. The cold air, however, as he pushed open the door seemed to clear his mind almost instantly. He stepped out and leant one hand against the wall of the bar, allowing himself to breathe in the night, before exhaling slowly, counting the seconds in his head. The street was quiet, although he heard cars behind him, felt their lights on his back. He continued to count, but now it was the beats of his still racing heart.

It was only moments later when he heard the door open. ‘Are you ok, sir…Joe? I’m really sorry, that was too personal, I didn’t mean to make you…’

‘I’m fine, Kent, I just…’ He stood straight to turn to look at the officer, who was stood with a small smile on his, as if in an attempt to reassure.

‘We can head back to the station, if you want…’

‘No, I…’ It felt like every single nerve in his body was electric. He felt himself step closer to his officer, until they were almost touching, their hands almost brushing against one another’s. ‘I couldn’t…I’m don’t…I’m not sure how to do this.’

‘Like this.’ With one hand, Kent reached up and ran his fingers along Chandler’s cheek, before leaning up and kissing him softly on the lips. His other hand took the Inspector’s. Chandler stood still for a moment, simply letting himself be kissed, before he felt himself responding, his hand wrapping around Kent’s, his other moving to hold Kent against him, pushing their bodies together. He could feel his head spinning once more, but this time he could ignore it, only able to focus on the feel of Kent against himself.

The officer broke the kiss first, stepping back sheepishly. ‘I’m not sure if here is the best place…’

Chandler felt his senses return slowly to him, becoming aware of the noise on the street slowly, the sudden sound of shouts and horns. It took a moment to realise they were directed at himself. He felt himself flush.

‘We could go back inside.’

‘Come home with me.’ He reached for Kent’s hand, just letting his fingers loosely brush against the officer’s own. ‘I know it sounds quick, and we don’t have to do anything at all if you don’t want to, I just…’ He paused, remembering suddenly the words he’d said to Kent the two weeks before. _All that matters to me is the truth_. He took a deep breath. ‘If I go home alone tonight, I’ll overthink it all. I’ll overthink and I’ll wake up tomorrow and everything will continue as it was before today. But I think this is the first time I have felt this way, and I’m not willing to let myself ruin it. I just…need you to help me tonight.’

Emerson Kent leant up again and kissed the Inspector once more. ‘Take me home, then.’


End file.
